And thus, I spake again.

It has been a while since I put up something on this wretched blog. With time, comes an acute sense of postmortem of everything we had thought earlier, specially those which are still preserved in some form of writing. We heave them up, read, trying to recount the state of mind we were in when we had written it and thus begins the twin process of aahs and oohs. At the same time, we are reminded of the sheer immaturity or rather say, shortsightedness in our writeup, the kind of dreams we had built in those bygone times and at the same time we feel happy about how much we have progressed, as if the sands of times stuck together by the efforts of our actions have made the presently castle, we are presently living in.
A lot of water has flown, since the last time I blogged. Those were the heady college days; I was in fourth semester and had no clue as to what I wanted to do in future; may be get a sound job; enjoy somewhere, the newly found financial independence, may be splurge on whatever I might have found fascinating in those days. Now, when I look back, the mixture of regret and achievement fails to recede. Those were the good ol' times, when we were young, we were poor (on shoestring budgets would be more appropriate to say) and we had all the times in world to ourselves. We were naive, we were kids and we had not much to regret for the past. We used to hum the 'Nowehere man' song, and think of the lead voice singing as ourselves, with much the same emotions, with all our friends gathering around on one or the other instrument. In the hindsight, whenever I try to recapture that imagery, I find the oddity in it; The band, when they sang the song were well on their way to super stardom and yet claimed to be nowhere men walking in the nowhere land. Four years down the line, when I have proved my worth( to a certain extent), have chosen an exciting career path to follow, gained some insight into the working of real world; can it be that same sense of rudderlessness, which still drives people like us, even when they are well entrenched in their career paths and have a lot to loose if they are disenchanted. I am saying this, not because I have any qualms as to my current position; I am saying this because I feel that the sense of nothingness, at times, overpowers me. I relentlessly try hard to break my head above water, and still the sour taste of dissatisfaction lingers. May be that sense of nothingness, which the song discusses is the feeling of discontent, which has, since time immemorial, driven human needs to greater heights. It might me a repressed zeal of ambition, to try things anew, which might give better results in future. Again, this thinking of mine, might be the result of a positive mentality, on which we always try to end our notes. Or may be the whole thoughtfulness in dissecting the various meaning out of this song has been the nastiness of an under-worked brain, trying to build some mental jugglery, so as to keep it active...
On this note, I end this post. may be the rust on the language will dissolve with time, for the last four years have been spent mastering the 60 markers in optionals and guessing what might be asked from the current political scenario of the world. May be, now when I start writing more and more; as well as read more and more; the thoughts will start sprouting out, with fruits afresh and varied in design.

(A small try at some pretty low grade impromptu poetry)


The hue was red, with the sprinkled dust;
The path lay barren; all haze and mud.
Chic-chi chi-chi; the wheels squeaked,
Alone trudged the cart, the bullocks heaved.

In lay the traveller, all alone and sad.
Had her picture in his eyes, he was going mad.
Her eyes were limpid, all clear and bright,
The smile on her face, In his dreams alight.

How do I tell her, that my love is no farce;
The fact that she loves, a man with grace and art.
How will she know, that I love her no less;
And I can be the love, she must possess.

Alas! the sun sets in, the sparrows fly,
In comes the shadows, the wind is dry.
The traveller rues; thinks of his love and plight.
The sleep comes over, she'll linger in dreams tonight.

--

GKT